Gravity Falls: The Second Generation
by SomniumofLight
Summary: When Kiki Alistair's family decides to move to the tiny town of Gravity Falls, she believes herself to be in for a boring time. That's before she finds out that the supernatural is very real, and joins two of the local residents (one of which isn't human, of course) in their quest to uncover the mystery of the events that conspired 10 years previously. (Post-Weirdmageddon Part 3)
1. Kiki

_This document is a transcript of numerous audio recordings recorded by a small trio of individuals. They have been placed in what we believe to be chronological order based on the dates of the recordings themselves, though there are some occasions where guesswork was necessary, as the audio was faulty or the date was not specified. Whether or not these accounts are mere fiction is also unclear, and is up to the reader to decide for themselves._

 **Moving In, New Friends, and the Weirdness Begins**

 **May 30th, 20XX**

 _(There's the click of a microphone turning on, and the sound of someone tapping it with a finger.)_

Hey, this thing on?

 _(Someone in the background responds in a sarcastic tone of voice.)_

Oh, just leave your big sis alone for a moment, m'kay? Go bother Mum or something.

 _(There's some grumbling and small feet run off.)_

Anyway, hi, future me! It's me, Kiki from the distant prehistoric past, starting my new journal with my new recorder in my new room in my new house in my new hometown of Gravity Falls. What a weird name, am I right? I mean, Gravity Falls? As opposed to, like, Gravity Rises?

Anyway, if you're listening to this, that means you've gotten so impossibly old that you're considered an ancient relic and your brain's been fossilized or something, so good on you for remembering this journal! Or recovering it, or something. You know what I mean, probably. Soooo I'll give you a recap of what's going on right now, try not to kick the bucket while you're listening, m'kay?

We've just moved into a little two-story house near the edge of town, with a great view of trees, trees, trees, and more boring trees. Oh, and some neighbor's backyard jungle. Seriously, it's like someone took a piece of the Amazon rainforest and dumped it in the middle of Oregon. But other than that, I guess it's okay. This place is nothing like my old house and it's really plain and just as interesting as the trees outside, but it's livable, at least. No leaky roof or anything. And I get my own room! Sweet!

 _(There are boxes being moved around, and "Kiki's" voice fluctuates in volume, presumably as she moves things about.)_ Oof. We're still unpacking all of our shiz, and it's been a few flippin' days. Seriously, there's an unholy amount of cardboard in this house right now. Unholy, I tell you! But hey, at least I'm finally down to my last boxes. My bro's still got at least another three left, I only got one and a half. And I got the better room - nice little window alcove and a hardwood floor, and green walls. Same color as my eyes! All he got was this ugly gray shag carpet that Mum's planning on replacing soon. And his room is tiny, too. Mine's a regular ballroom, and once all my stuff is unpacked, it'll be the best bedroom in Gravity Falls!

 _(Silence for a moment, save for the thump of a heavy box being set down and a grunt.)_

Anyway, yeah. Gravity Falls. Looks pretty boring. It's got this unhealthy obsession with triangles, they're freaking everywhere, but other than that, just your normal little logger town.

 _(Someone calls for her in the distance.)_

Yeah Mum?

 _(The voice shouts again.)_

'Kay, coming! Just give me a second!

I don't get why Mum and Dad decided to move here all of a sudden. Something about some old friends living here, and apparently they have a kid my own age or something. And I guess that's okay, but still. It was really sudden, and now I can only talk to Dani and the others online, 'cause we're too far away to have a sleepover, and long-distance calls like that cost money that Mum would rather not pay.

Wonder what the others are doing . . . knowing them, they went on a trip to Disneyland or something. Maybe they'll actually follow through with that whole "draw a mustache on Mickey Mouse's face" thing this year. And I'll have to miss it because I'm lugging cardboard.

Well, could be worse, I guess.

(Her mother's voice shouts again in the background - she sounds impatient.)

Okay, okay! I'll help! Geez . . .

(She fumbles with the mic for a moment before switching it off.)

 **May 31st, 20XX**

 _(When the microphone comes on, Kiki sounds a little out of breath.)_

Took us two weeks, three hours, and 37 minutes, but we finally finished unpacking, dear GOD. Just finished unpacking that last box, and now we got a weekend of relaxation to look forward to - little bro's ecstatic, since the parental units said they'd take him to the playground tomorrow. Yippee, whoopty-do, joyride for everyone 'cept me, 'cause unlike a certain 7 year old, I am NOT easily entertained.

I mean, come on, there's nothing to do here except watch trees and weeds grow, there's nothing to watch on TV yet because we haven't subscribed to any channels yet, and we lost the Xbox mid-transit, somehow. I'm suspecting a certain overbearing Mum of mine had something to do with that.

In other words, I'M BOOOOORED, and I have nobody to pester about it. I'm LITERALLY going to die of BOREDOM in this BORING little hick town unless something really ridiculously weird or awesome happens within the next few days, and right now it's not looking too promising!

Oh, and we're going to go visit the "pals" that live here, apparently, day after tomorrow. Yay, more parental interference. If they're anywhere near as dull as this town, I am escaping out a window and hitch-hiking back to Colorado.

 **June 2nd, 20xx**

 _(Click. There's some stuff being moved, and Kiki's humming absently.)_

Welp, no jumping from windows or hitchhiking for moi. Maybe I'll actually have some fun here after all.

Oh, right, context. Older self has fossilized brain cells and stuff, can't remember pals from the dinosaur age.

So, drove through town for a while. The town itself looks pretty normal, you know, little main street with lots of shops and stuff, nothing too special - well, apart from the triangles everywhere. Seriously, there are SOOO MANY TRIANGLES. There were a couple of places with weird names, too - a diner called "Greasy's," for instance. We stopped there for lunch, it was ran by this ridiculously old lady with her right eye fused shut with makeup or something. Oh, and there was a family of lumberjacks wrestling in the corner - bunch of guys and one woman, all dressed in plaid flannel shirts and furry hats. The lady had an axe slung over her shoulder, too. An honest-to-god AXE! In a restaurant! People were cheering them on, placing bets 'n everything!

And the rest of the townsfolk seemed kinda odd, too. I mean, they looked friendly enough, and some were pretty normal, but there were just as many people who were just plain weirdos! Like this little ugly guy with a bright purple mohawk. People were clammering to get close to him, like he was a celebrity or something! And then there was the gopher-man in the local fast food drive through, the big bulky biker dudes playing on the seesaw on the playground, and the white-haired elvis clone riding around on this dorky-looking motorized scooter in a full-blown baby-blue suit.

Actually, he was kinda cute. He had a bit of a pig nose, though.

But yeah, we drove through the entire town and saw all these weird people, and Mum and Dad looked like they wanted to freak out the whole time. It was freaking hilarious.

We finally parked right in front of this drab little house that looked like every other hick house here, both inside and out. Met the pals, a middle-aged white guy and his equally middle-aged wife, who looked like she might be Latino or even Native American, watched as the folks talked, raided the movie cabinet - there were a metric crap ton of old black 'n white soap operas, eww - you know, just your usual snooping through personal belongings. I was seriously out of it by now - the town was interesting, but these people were so normal that it made me feel kinda sick.

Then in comes Max, accompanied by a choir of angels in the background.

Seriously, the instant she walked up behind me and said, "Hey," she was my new lord and savior. She just oozed this cool-as-ice aura, and she was dressed so tacky that I could've sworn she was a boy, especially since she had the kind of face that was halfway between both genders and wore her hair in a really short bob that could've fit in in any crowd. In fact, the only thing that really screamed girl! about her was the dreamcatcher necklace she was wearing. It was really intricate, with little spiral designs in the strings, and real feathers hanging from the bottom, and it was pretty obvious that someone had spent a lot of time on it. It was really freaking cool. I told her so.

"That dreamcatcher is really freaking cool." I said. "Where'd you get it?"

"I made it," she said.

"Really?!"

"Yep."

"Can you show me how?"

And thus we locked ourselves in her room while she showed me how to make my own dreamcatcher to hang over my bed at night.

It came out as more of a tangle in a circular frame, but hey, it was my first one, what else was I expecting?

Then we went and found my little bro, and all three of us went and drew stuff on their dusty old van. And raided the kitchen, which had a weird little safe in the cabinet that Max showed us how to cheat out of some cookies. We even went poking around the attic and found some old African masks, and Max told me that I could take one home if I wanted to. I've got it hanging over my bed right now, this big clunky clay thing painted red and brown and black.

I could totally see myself hanging out with her in the near future. In fact, I think I'm gonna go call her now, ask her if she wants to hang later. I mean, considering the townsfolk, I bet she's got some crazy shenanigans to talk about!

 **June 2th, 20XX**

Met with Max today after a couple of droll, rainy days. We decided on going to the pool, where things got kinda weird really fast. The lifeguard was . . . interesting. Really strict, with big leg muscles and stuff, and people were freaking scared of him. Don't get me wrong, a face that intense could probably terrify any little kid into submission, but honestly, I'd seen scarier.

There was also a skeleton in one of the pool drains. A fake one, not a real one. Apparently the lifeguard kept putting kids down there in solitary confinement, and finally some smartass decided to put a fake skelly down there to scare the pool-goers. Doing the job pretty well too, considering the number of kids I saw avoiding that drain. We tricked some poor cowardly schmuck into swimming over to it with help from one of the local blondies, and the guy - who was, like, three times our size - shrieked like a little girl. Ha! Sucker!

 **June 4th, 20XX**

 _(Kiki sounds tired when the mike comes on.)_

Ugh, I freaking HATE my life. I got like three hours of sleep last night and I'm feeling ridiculously loopy and not even caffeine or Fall Out Boy or my little bro jumping on my bed when I woke up this morning can wake me up. Should probably get back to sleep, but nooooooooo whatever gods or demons there might be out there have it out for me, and my eyes refuse to stay shut. I'm just gonna read some occult books or somethin', that'll help me right?

Either that or keep me up even longer, heh heh. Heh . . .

Eh, screw it, I'm jus' gonna . . _(she yawns here, then goes silent. The recording is silent for about half an hour before footsteps come in and turn it off.)_

 **June 5th, 20XX**

Nothing like a full day of sleep and a good ol' cup of joe to get a girl moving! Whooooo, I feel like I could run like ten miles, swim 15 miles, and do jumping jacks for like an hour straight, all in one go! Plus Max called me, asked if I wanted to meet a couple of buddies of hers tomorrow - apparently they're in the popular crowd! Never would've pegged Max as one of the popular girls, but maybe popular has a different definition here in GF.

Heh heh heh, get it? GF? Gravity Falls? Eh, whatever. I'm still loopy as hell right now, ha! Probably gonna look back on this and regret what I'm sayin', but that's like a year before that happens, so screw it, I say what I want!

I know! I'm gonna go pester Josh! Little Three-Eyes tried to draw on my face this morning, I need to get him back! Yeah that's a game plan! He won't know what hit him!

 _(Kiki laughs evilly for a few seconds, then shuts off the recorder.)_

 **June 6th, 20XX**

Yep, the popular crowd here is a little different. Interest-wise, that is. As far as looks are concerned, they weren't actually all that strange.

Well, okay, the Elvis clone I vaguely remembered driving past a week or so ago wasn't exactly your typical popular guy, but hey, he was still a looker. What was with the popular kids and being eye-candy? Seriously, is it an evolutionary thing or what?

 _(She coughs.)_ Ahem. Anyway, one of Max's buddies was, you guessed it, the white-haired Elvis clone, and he looked pretty damn good up close. He was in his older teens, a little pudgy, with a round friendly face and freckles and a little button nose that looked like it might've been broken once, and, of course, the baby blue suit I'd seen him in before. Though up close it was less of a tuxedo and more like a fancy dress jacket and pants accompanied by a T-shirt with a multi-colored star on it. Plus leather boots.

Max's other pal was a girl, also blonde, though golden blonde instead of white blonde, with her hair cut short in this cute little pixie do and awesome smokey eyeshadow, and dressed in a trendy little outfit - purple halter top, white pants, high-heeled shoes, rhinestone belt.

I think Max said their names were Gideon and Pacifica? Ah, whatever, I'll ask her tomorrow.

Anyway, they sound like they'd be in the highly fashionable clique, right? Talking fashion, expensive cars, dissing those who dress differently, etcetera. I fully expected them to make fun of me - come on, I'm a goth girl, dressing in all leather and frilly shirts and skirts and heavy makeup, and they're obviously popular, since all kinds of people were greeting them as they walked past. Two and two make four, right?

All that Paz did was look at me, and say "Huh. You know, when I think goth, I usually think emo kids with black hair and fingerless gloves. But you actually got some style, girl."

Boom, mind blown. And Gideon was just as civil, and even more cool because he actually recognized the triangular symbol on my pendant!

"Hey, isn't that the Satanic Cross?" He said, pointing at the pendant.

"You bet!"

"Why ya' wearing it?"

" 'Cause I'm one of Satan's cultists, didn't you know?"

He laughed at that, and next thing I know we're discussing various demonic symbols, demons, and other supernatural beasties, leaving Paz and Max to gawp at us and then start discussing their own shiz. Max almost literally had to tear me away from him after a while so we could go get something to eat, and even then we were still talking about it at Greasy's while we were waiting for food.

He got a little nervous when I mentioned the Eye of Providence, though. You know, the "All-Seeing Eye," the eye of Lucifer, used to work hexes, curses, psychic control, that kind of stuff. All he said when I asked him what his problem was was "Never mind all that." Paz looked just as freaked, even said the same thing.

Maybe they've had run-ins with the Illuminati. Now wouldn't that be something?

Anyway, things got kinda awkward after that, and me and Maz walked to my new house from there, she stayed for a while and left.

Before she left, she asked me about the house next door - the one with the overgrown garden-jungle. Pretty strange stuff to ask, too - had I heard any weird noises at night, seen anybody there that disappeared when I saw them, if there were cold spots whenever I walked past, that kind of stuff. Like she was gathering info for a ghost hunt. And she said it so cooly, like it was no big deal. She's never shown interest in the supernatural before - in fact, she was avoiding joining my conversation with Gideon all day, even when I tried to pull her in.

I mean, I barely know her, but why ask about that now? Was she waiting to see if I liked the supernatural first? I'm gonna have to check that out. Maybe I can ask about it tomorrow.

 **June 7th, 20XX**

Hokay, Max is definitely avoiding talking about the supernatural. I tried asking her about the whole ghost-hunt stuff yesterday, and she changed the subject! So did Gideon, just told me it was "nothing to worry about, it's nothing abnormal," which most definitely means that it was abnormal. Something's going on here, something they don't want me to know.

I'll try again tomorrow, maybe try to catch them off guard. But first, I'm gonna try to finish this dreamcatcher. Max tried to teach me how to make one again, and I think I've gotten a bit better at it, though only a bit.

 **June 8th, 20XX**

They are DEFINITELY avoiding my questions! I got, like, a million "don't worry"s and "never mind that"s today whenever I tried to ask. They're obviously not comfortable talking to me about this.

And when I came back from a restroom break, I heard them talking about "meeting at four tomorrow morning," and "bringing that equipment Dipper send us." Don't know or care who Dipper is right now, but what I DO care about is that they're apparently doing something illegal. Or at least nocturnal. Probably at that overgrown house, if Max's questions the other day were any indication.

Do they think the place is haunted or something? Come on, even I know that a ghost won't just appear in any random abandoned house. And I would've noticed if there were any weird cold spots there or something.

I'm definitely going to be snooping tonight. If I'm right, and they're going ghost-hunting, I want in, dammit!

 **June 8th, 20XX**

 _(When Kiki turns on the recorder, she's lowered her voice to a whisper.)_

Looks like I was right! It's four in the morning right now, and I just looked outside and saw Gideon and Max creeping around the side of the house and crawling in through a window! They had a couple packs of stuff with them, probably with that "equipment" they mentioned at the diner yesterday. They're totally going ghost hunting or something, and they didn't invite me!

Well, joke's on them, I don't even need an invite.

 _(There's some rustling, presumably as Kiki puts the recorder into a pocket, as when she speaks next her voice is a little muffled. Then there's soft footsteps, accompanied by the occasional creaking of floorboards, as she sneaks out of her room and out of her house.)_

Righteo, let's get this party started!

 _(She pauses.)_

Oh man, the house looks even creepier up close. There's boards popping out of the wall and broken windows and there's no lights at all. I can see why someone would think this place is haunted. Now, that window was on the left somewhere, right?

 _(Some rustling as Kiki makes her way around the building.)_

Yep! Here it is! _(She grunts, there's a scrabbling of nails against wood, and then a soft thump.)_

Operation Break-in complete! Now, where did those jerks go? I've got some choice words for them, leaving me out of a ghost hunt! Hey! Max, Giddy-boy! I know you're in here, I saw you from my room! What the frig are you guys doing here?!

 _(There's a distant reply, a young man's voice. He sounds surprised, and maybe a little irritated.)_

Who else is it supposed to be?!

 _(Loud, creaking footsteps. A girl's voice, presumably Max's, starts talking. "You really . . . t . . . here.")_

Yeah, well, you guys shouldn't be either! Why you going on a ghost hunt without me, huh?

 _("What makes ya' think we're lookin' for ghosts?")_

Oh, come on, I'm not stupid. Max asked me about cold spots, weird noises, the kinds of things that generally turn up with hauntings! Why didn't you guys tell me? I want in!

 _("Kiki, this is dangerous, you can't just - ")_

 _(At this point the girl - Max - is interrupted by a sudden susurration of rustling and creaking, much louder than any of the three could manage themselves, and all three of them yelp. The recorder falls from Kiki's pocket and hits the ground, and the recording abruptly ends.)_

 **June 10th, 20XX**

GOD, I am NEVER bringing my recorder ANYWHERE ever again. Mum got sooo huffy when I told her I broke it, and after she spent so much money on it in the first place! And she was majorly pissed when she realized I'd gone out in the middle of the night, and on top of that I was really smelly too, so I'm officially grounded until the day after tomorrow. Oh well, I need to tell you what happened in the house anyway, it was totally CRAZY!

So, me and Gideon and Max are arguing, right? They're trying to politely tell me to shove off and leave them alone, which I didn't like too much, and then every single plant in the room just suddenly comes alive and starts moving! We get grabbed by these huge, really thick vines and clumps of tree roots, and get yanked up to the ceiling and shaken around like ragdolls! My recorder fell out of my pocket about then and broke on the wood floor, so none of this got recorded live.

Anywho, there we are, hanging from the ceiling, and Gideon's getting all pissed with me, because apparently "we had it all under control before ya' came and ruined it for us!." _(She pitches her own voice a few octaves higher as she says this, mocking Gideon.)_ Pfft, it's kinda hard to have something under control when nothing's happening, am I right? So yeah, we start arguing, and the plants finally get sick of us and tighten around us until we stop yelling, and then this little thing sprouts out of the middle of the floor. It honestly looked like a yucca plant with eyeballs and little spindly root legs, and it starts wobbling up to us like a drunken sailor and hissing at us. It sounded like it was trying to talk, but it wasn't doing too well at it, because somehow my sleep-adled brain decided it was adorable.

"Aww, aren't you the cutie?" I cooed. It stopped right in front of me and somehow managed to look confused despite the lack of facial features. It even lifted one root apendage and pointed to itself. "Yeah, I mean you!" I said.

"Um, Kiki?" Gideon said. "Ya' generally aren't supposed to find a thing like this cute."

"Oh shush, it's adorable." I said. "Look at all those little eyes! And the little leggies! I could just hug 'er!"

The creature made a weird bubbling noise, almost like it was giggling or something, and then it put me down on the ground, and I made good on my statement, ran over, and hugged it.

Which freaked Gideon and Max out to no end, ha! They started thrashing and yelling at me to cut it out, you don't know what this thing might do to you, think woman, think!

But I was just like "screw them" and kept hugging the thing, because I was tired and I was feeling rebellious and I loathed them leaving me out of their adventure, and it just started making the weird bubbling noise again, and a little flower bloomed right at the top of its stem with a pop.

Which, of course, was still adorable even if it did spray stinky pollen all over me. And it was worth it, seeing the disgusted looks on their faces! Giddy-boy looked like he was going to vomit! It was freaking hilarious.

"Aww, thank you!" Was all I said. And the thing seemed happy about that, because all its little eyes scrunched up like it was smiling, and another flower popped open right next to the first and sprayed me with more powder.

"Don't let it keep doin' that!" Gideon shouted. "It might be poisonous!"

He got an even tighter stranglehold for his trouble.

"Come on, be nice!" I said, giggling. "Just come down here and hug it out or something."

"Heck no!"

"Aww, why not!"

"That thing's hurt people, Kiki!" Max yelled.

The poor little yucca looked so upset after she said that, drooping like a wilted flower, and began crying little tears of sap from all of it's eyes, getting me uber sticky.

"Hey, shut it already!" I yelled. "You're hurting her feelings!"

"Her?! How did you - "

"Calling someone 'it' is rude, so unless she says otherwise, she's a girl!"

Yucca - yeah, I decided to call her Yucca - was still crying those little sap tears, so I started patting her atop her flowered stalk and going "Shush, it's okay, they don't know any better, shush, they're just big bullies, I know, I'll make 'em say sorry, okay?"

This continued on for a ridiculously long time, and by the time I managed to calm Yucca down and convince my pals to apologize - very reluctantly apologize - I was completely covered in sap and pollen, and the little thing was hugging me with its little root-arms for comfort.

"Everybody good now?" I asked. Everybody nodded, even Yucca. "Good. Now, you live here?"

Yucca nodded.

"Are you the one that made the garden grow so extreme?"

Another nod.

"That's so cool! It's like you have your own mini jungle in your backyard!"

She puffed up with pride, and another stinky flower bloomed.

"Can I see it up close?"

A nod, and Yucca turned and started swaying away, towards the back door.

"Hey, uh, can we come down?" Max said.

"Oh, right," I said, "we can't just leave them hanging, can we?"

Yeah, I know, horrible pun, but I was still tired and still pissed at them, so I feel it was kinda justified. And it made the little plant monster bubble again, which I'm guessing was a laugh, so score!

They got left there for another few minutes anyway, while Yucca gave me the grand tour of the garden with its overgrown hedges and roses and lillac bushes, and the vegetable area all covered in weeds - which Yucca didn't seem to like too much, considering she glared at the weeds - until finally their shouting was getting too loud and we decided to let them down.

And every time I praised her, the little plant sprouted another flower and more pollen, each burst of it smelling better than the last, so I think I smelled fabulous by the time we had to leave. And the little sweetie looked so happy when I said I'd come back later to visit her.

Honestly? Yeah, she was adorable. I dunno why Gideon and Max were so worried. They're a pair of scaredy cats.

A pair of scaredy cats that owe me an explanation, big time. They kept looking so confused after Yucca let them down, like they'd expected her to off them or something. Like she was a monster.

Well, I guess she was, technically, but still, how can a walking plant that blooms when it's happy be a threat? Guys are just paranoid, I guess. And maybe Max is too, I dunno. Gonna have to ask them tomorrow, once I'm no longer under house arrest.

 **June 11th, 20XX**

I'm finally ungrounded, with some help from Max. She came over this morning and talked to Mom, and then next thing I know, Mum's coming up and hugging me and saying sorry for yelling at me, if she'd known that I was helping Max with boy troubles then she would've let me off the hook.

Wow, that sounded weird. Didn't know Max could make anything so ridiculous sound so plausible. I mean, come on, Max doesn't seem to be the kind of girl that's interested in a relationship, considering how independent she is!

So yeah, she let me off the hook, and my tomboy pal came up to my room, stopped and gawked at the various demonic symbol things scattered on the walls, then sat down on my bed and went awkwardly quiet.

"You could've died, you know." She said. "She was probably about to kill you when you started acting all weird."

"Who, Yucca? Nooooooo, precious little plant like her wouldn't hurt a fly!"

"She's not a plant."

This, understandably, did not sound right to my ears. Of course Yucca was a plant! She was green and leafy, and the only things that didn't fit the whole flora thing were the eyes and root legs and arms.

"She's inhabiting a plant." Max told me. " 'Yucca' is a spirit, Kiki. She doesn't have a real body at all, that weed is just something to keep her anchored in this plane of existance or something."

So they were hunting a ghost, I asked.

"Nope, not a ghost exactly," Max replied. "A spirit. Apparently there's a difference. Ghosts tend to stay in one place, but spirits wander around a lot more."

"Man, you know your stuff, don't you?"

"Not really. I know most of this stuff from Gideon and the townsfolk."

She continued on, speaking quietly so that my folks didn't overhear, and told me everything she knew - how, when her parents had moved the family here a few years ago, she'd just _known_ that there was something off about the place. How she'd met Gideon when she'd gone exploring the local bar, which, for some reason, had let her in despite the fact she was only fourteen, and they'd gotten along just fine, and started hanging out - and how one day, she'd come across Gideon while he was talking to a bunch of little glowing things outside his window, at night. They weren't fireflies, she said, because fireflies didn't have bird wings, and couldn't change the colors of their lights. After that, Gideon had told her there were a lot more than the critters she'd seen, way more, and he was one of the people keeping track of the strange goings-on here.

"He calls it research, but honestly, it's more like he's on patrol for something," she added. "I've been helping him out for a couple of years now - it took me ages to convince him to let me tag along. We go around town and look for dangerous creatures and artifacts that a tourist might run across, and hide them before they can."

"So you're a supernatural police force?"

"No, there's apparently an actual supernatural police force just for the non-human residents of the town. I haven't met them yet, but I've seen the occasional gnome tied up in front of the police station."

"And you didn't think to tell me?!"

"Most people freak out when they learn about the supernatural! And Yucca's more dangerous than most! She's crazy strong, and the only reason she hasn't killed anybody yet is because we keep chasing her away with charms and stuff!"

"So you never thought to hug her or something?"

She gave me a positively scorching glare at this, and took a few deep breaths.

"Don't do that again," she said. "I still don't get how you got away with that."

"So can I come with you the next time we go monster-hunting?"

"What?!"

"Come on, that was fun! I thought this town was gonna be boring as hell, but look at what you're up to! Tracking spirits, probably meeting all kinds of crazy critters - you've been holding out on me, Maxie! I want in!"

She hesitated for the longest, longest moment, then said "You're in."

So now I am no longer Kiki Yon Alistair, occultist otaku. I am now Kik Yon Alistair, occultist otaku and newbie monster-hunter, partner-in-crime of Gideon and Max, the resident monster-hunter nerds! Oh man, this is awesome! When we left Colorado a few weeks ago, I could've sworn that I'd be six feet under, with a tombstone reading her heart stopped because she was bored out of house and home. Who would've guessed that I'd go down this kind of road instead? I can't wait to get up to no good again! Wait until Dani and the others hear about this!


	2. Max

**Camping in the Woods, Pet Eyeballs, and a Sparkly Dragontaur**

June 13th, 20XX

(When the mic turns on, there's two voices, one recognizable as Kiki, and another girl's voice that sounds similar to the one in Kiki's journal.)

I honestly don't know why I didn't think of this earlier. I've been doing this stuff for years and it never crossed my mind.

(Kiki's voice responds, "Well, that's what I'm here for! Great ideas inbound!)

I guess?

("It's on now, I'll shush, get started!")

Fine. Hullo, listener or listeners. My name's Maxine Eughal -

("It's spelled like EUGH-al.")

\- and I'm a semi-professional supernatural investigator here in Gravity Falls, Oregon. I've been living here for four years, and I've been aware of the supernatural here for almost as long. I work with Gideon Gleeful -

("His last name's Gleeful? Ha! That's almost as bad as yours!")

Shush. I work with one of the local paranormal experts, Gideon Gleeful, and help him investigate things as they happen here. I've been working with him since I was twelve - though honestly, that was more of a blackmail thing than actually willing on his part.

("Oooh, gimme details! Details!")

I'll tell you later. I've been working with him since I was twelve, and discovered all kinds of things. There's wall-to-wall paranormal, mythological, and just plain weird things here. So much that a journal like this is long overdue, and I'm not going to even try to cover anything that's happened over the past two years. There's too much to cover and it'd take too long.

("What about Yucca?")

 _That_ is something I'd rather forget.

("You're just salty that _you_ never thought to hug the plant monster.")

I am _not_ hugging that thing. But what I _will_ be doing is recording the weird stuff that will inevitably happen in town, and any investigations I go on with Gideon.

("Oh come on, you're _always_ doing stuff with Gid! We never get any girl's nights anymore!")

It's been two days, Kiki.

("Since a couple days ago it's been nothing but 'let's go and do this because Gideon wants to' and 'because Gideon said' and 'Gideon this Gideon that!' I'm bored!")

Well, sometimes boredom is something that has to -

("Wait, I know! Let's go solo!")

Go solo?

("You know, go and find something on our own! Just us two girls!")

No.

("Why not?")

Gideon knows his stuff. We don't.

("Sure we do! You've been hanging out with him for years, you've got to have some special magical knowhow!")

I know some, but it's safer to investigate when there's an _experienced_ person involved -

("Aww, come on, you don't need him! You've got me now!")

That's reassuring.

("Come ooooon, stop being such a duckling! I bet he's getting real tired of dragging you around everywhere!")

Probably . . .

("Then let's go out and investigate something on our own, give him a break!")

Not a good idea.

("We don't have to do anything dangerous! There's gotta be something here that you wanna know about that he doesn't think is worth the time or something.")

Well, there is this weird thing that happens in the woods -

("Let's go camping, then! Just stake it out for the weekend!")

What about your parents?

("I'll tell them that I'm going camping with a buddy, that's all. They won't mind, so long as I ask them a couple days beforehand!")

I guess I'm okay with it, then.

("Whooooo! Friday night?")

Sure.

June 16th, 20XX

7:33 PM

(There's the sound of movement in the background, some laughing from Kiki.)

("Oh man, that's _rich_! You _seriously_ said that to him?!")

Yep. (There's a pause.) You shouldn't touch that

("Aww, it's just a little spark! What could go wrong?")

(There's a sharp zapping sound, Kiki yelps, and then something impacts heavily nearby.)

I warned you. Anyway, (she directs this at the recorder.) Kiki and I have "gone solo" this time around, and we've set up camp on the edge of a small clearing in the woods. We're going to be here for a couple of days, investigating what Gideon and I have taken to calling the Wood Sparks. They're these small blue sparks -

("More like sparkles!")

\- that appear in several clearings scattered all over this part of the forest. They are bright blue, and pulsate at varying speeds, and usually appear in a small cloud of maybe several dozen or so, usually for a few hours at a time. Gideon never paid them much mind, but I think it's a good place to start for an ametur like Kiki. Not too dangerous, though, as you probably heard, they pack a hefty amount of charge.

("No kidding! I flew, like, fifteen feet!")

Nine. Now, Gideon thinks that these sparks are caused by magic, as we're between a fairy grove and a small settlement of gnomes, and the two just don't get along. There's lots of magical duels, fairy dust stealing, that kind of stuff. But I personally think there's something or someone else involved, since both parties insist they had nothing to do with them.

("So, like, a creature?")

Yep. Let's look at the evidence for this.

(Paper rustles nearby.)

("Wow, you actually wrote them all down. I thought you were joking about that.")

First, the sparks never appear at a set time. They _usually_ turn up at twilight or at night, once the sun's gone down. Most of the gnome-fairy fights happen during the day, since that's when they're both up and about. Secondly, neither gnomes nor fairies have magic that can create something with this much charge - they're just not that strong.

("Have there been weird footprints or anything nearby?")

That's the third point. The gnomes and fairies keep finding big tracks wherever the sparks have been, especially at a nearby waterfall, where there are lots of hiding spots where a large creature could be hidden. The tracks have long toes, with what could be claws or talons.

("So a bird or a giant lizard or something.")

There's more. The gnomes claim that they sometimes hear loud noises in the night, and the sparks usually turn up in those places when they check later. They described the noises as "a mix between thunder, a manotaur convention, and Multi-Bear when he's in a really bad mood."

("I don't even know what you just said, but it sounds loud.")

It is. Gideon got me into a Manotaur convention once, it's pretty noisy. Think a rock concert on steroids, with a lot of drinking and jerky-eating.

("Whoa.")

So, going on the assumption that this is some sort of creature, I've set up a lot of video cameras around the clearing and a few other spots where the sparks turn up, including the waterfall the gnomes told me about. They have full batteries, and I put rubber on them so the sparks won't be able to hit anything except the lenses. Hopefully they'll catch whatever it is on tape.

("Why don't we follow the sparks? It's a lot simpler.")

Gideon mentioned there were will 'o the wisps in the woods.

("Oh.")

Right. We need to make sure that it's not one of those first. I asked the fairies about them, and they said they were basically fairies but with bigger wings and a lot brighter. So long as something like that doesn't turn up, we can follow the sparks.

Let's get to work. We've got to turn on all the cameras before night.

11:09 PM

(Max and Kiki are both whispering urgently when the recorder comes on.)

("Did you _see_ the _size_ of that thing?!")

Yeah, I did. Okay, it's . . . 11:09. After Kiki and I set up the cameras, we sat around, waited for a while, then went to bed. We just woke up, and there was something moving around outside the tent. Whatever it was, it was at least as tall as the tent, so maybe the same height as my shoulder, and _very very_ long and possibly scaly.

("And it had the long toes and claws!")

Yeah, that too. We didn't see it too well because a _certain somebody_ scared it off by trying to get a peek.

("Oh, come on, you were trying to peek too!")

I don't move as suddenly as you have a habit of doing. Sudden movements scare away animals, don't you know that much?

("Did the camera catch anything?")

I don't know.

(There's a rustling of fabric, and the zipper of a tent flap being unzipped. Silence for a few moments. Then there's soft running footsteps, more rustling, and the zipper is redone.)

Here, it recorded something!

("Great, let's see what we got!")

(The two girls go quiet, and soft, slightly tinny audio plays. It's mostly nighttime noises, crickets and the occasional owl, but after a few moments there's a sudden noise, like something's run off. The girls remain silence for a moment, and when they speak next, Max sounds wary and Kiki sounds even more excited than before.)

("Holy shit.")

No kidding. That thing was _way_ bigger than I thought.

("Way bigger? It wasn't even completely in the _clearing!_ It was going right off the edge of the screen!")

I saw. (Her next words are directed to the recorder.) Okay, it was definitely a reptile of some kind. It was extremely long, like a snake, but it had long legs, almost like a dog's, and a long neck?

("And a mane.")

Yeah, that too.

("Maybe it's a dragon!")

Maybe. I wouldn't be surprised.

("And you saw the sparks, right?")

Yeah. Looks like it wasn't will 'o the wisps.

("You think the other cameras got something?")

I hope so. We didn't get a good look at it's face. Let's go check 'em.

June 17th, 20XX

12:45 AM

("Max, over here! This one got something.")

Really? Let's see!

(Max runs over to where Kiki is, and they go silent for a few long moments as more tinny audio plays.)

("Aww, there's nothing new. We couldn't see its face this time either.")

(The audio suddenly changes to a flapping sound, and Max yelps and jumps back.)

("What's _that_?")

An eyebat, I-I think. Never seen one before, but -

("Did you just _stutter?_ ")

No!

("You totally did! You stuttered!")

It just startled me, okay? I wasn't expecting that.

("Ha! You're scared of a widdle winged eyeball?")

No, no, I wasn't! (She coughs and changes the subject.) What's it doing there, anyway? Those guys are supposed to live in caves or in the old mines under the town.

("Are there any caves around here it could've come from?")

Well no - (she pauses. When she starts talking again, it's very slowly and carefully.) Actually, there _is_ a small cave over by the waterfall. It doesn't go very deep, I think, but it's deep enough it might be able to hide something. . .

("Let's go check it out!")

W-wait!

("What, you too chicken? Too scared of the _eyebats_?")

No!

("Then let's go, before it gets away! Come on!")

1:41 AM

Alright, here's the cave. Kiki, you got that flashlight?

("Yep!" There's a click as she turns it on. "Let's get monster hunting!")

(The girls go quiet for a few minutes. The only sounds are the echos of their footsteps against stone as they enter the cave and carefully navigate their way through it.)

I'm not seeing any -

(There's a loud series of flapping sounds, and one of the girls shrieks as the sound rushes past them. When the sounds pass, there's a moment of silence, and when Max speaks again, she does so a bit weakly.)

Well, there's the eyebats. Gonna have to mark this.

(Kiki starts giggling. "Look Max!)

What're you - Kiki!

("Look at 'em! They're freaking adorable!" She continues giggling, and there's a series of leathery wingbeat sounds, in much smaller numbers this time around.)

They are _not_ adorable! Shoo! Shoo you little freaks!

("Shhh, you'll hurt their feelings!")

They're _winged eyeballs_. They don't have feelings.

("Don't listen to them, little guys, _big bad Max_ is just a big scaredy cat, she's got eyeball-phobia - ")

It's ommetaphobia, and I _don't_ have it!

(There's a loud sound, echoing through the cave. It sounds like rocks falling, and maybe claws scrabbling across a hard surface.)

. . . You hear that?

("It's still in here! Come on Max, Lucifer, Cthulhu!")

You already _named_ them?!

(The two girls start running, scrambling over rocks, following the sounds that the recorder occasionally picks up.)

("Look, a spark!")

I see it!

("And another one! We're getting close!")

(There's more sounds, closer this time, and a strange, growly sound, almost like a pained yelp.)

Up there!

(They begin moving quickly, boots hitting the ground rapidly and loudly, and grunting with effort, presumably as they scale some sort of ledge. Once they stop climbing, they go quiet for a few moments, walking slowly and carefully. Just as one of them is about to speak, there's more sounds from nearby, almost right on top of them.)

(Max whispers.) Over here!

(More movement, and then a long, low whistle of astonishment.)

(" _Whoa,_ look at this place!")

I see it, I see it! Alright, we just came into this enormous cavern, like somebody carved a huge room here underground. There's some old, scientific-looking equipment scattered around the place, and what looks like some glass chambers? One of them is on, and there's something inside it I can't quite make out. The entire room is filled with sparks, most of them very bright.

("And there's blood on the ground.")

And there's - wait, _blood?_

("Yep. See, look here. Unless somebody dropped red paint down here, that's blood.")

Which means that whatever's down here is injured. We'll have to be careful, then.

(Something moves nearby, and there's a high-pitched sound, like a grating whimper. Both of the girls start, and make surprised noises.)

("Max, it's right here! Look!")

(The girls go quiet again. Something nearby moves, scraping what are probably claws across the rocks.)

Holy crap.

6:27 AM

(When the recorder switches on again, the girls are in the middle of some sort of argument.)

 _No_ , Kiki! You can't decorate his hair while he's asleep! He's injured, for heaven's sake!

("Oh come on! I bet he'd love it!")

We don't know for sure! We could be infringing on his social traditions or something - Eck! Get those stupid eyeballs away from me!

("They're just trying to say hi!")

Well, I don't appreciate little slimy winged orbs hitting me in the face - _holy crap_ , that one has a mouth! Where did that come from?!

("Shhh! You'll wake him up!")

Like you care! (Max lowers her voice to a whisper.) Okay, right now we're still in the weird cavern we found, the one filled with machinery. The creature we were following is right here next to me, asleep - and he is NOT a giant lizard, or a dragon, though that was a close guess. He's some sort of centaur-like creature -

("Dragontaur!")

We don't know what they call themselves yet, but yeah, he's basically a dragon centaur. He's got a long, four-legged, eastern-dragon body, with a white and silver striped mane and two-toned blue scales, but instead of a neck at the shoulders he's got a human torso - he looks, I dunno, maybe ten or eleven years old? Except his hair is the same silver as in his mane, he has long deer-like ears, and little antlers on his head.

("Really little antlers, like, baby antlers!")

And he's seriously injured. He's covered in scrapes and cuts, like he got into a fight with something. He was pretty much out of it by the time we caught up, so we bandaged him up best we could and put some salve on some of the more serious wounds. Now I guess we're just waiting for him to wake up. (She yawns.) We've been here for a few hours, and I'm getting kinda tired. I've already fallen asleep twice. I don't know how Kiki's managing to stay so energetic.

("Sleep is for the weak!")

And she's got these stupid little eyebats with her now. One's green, and one's red, and they're just circling the two of us endlessly. Also, one of them grew a mouth with sharp little shark teeth, which disappeared after a couple of seconds.

("Max is scared of eyes!")

Kiki, we're not doing this again.

("Are too!")

(Max makes an impatient sound, and the recording shuts off.)

7:27 AM

(When the mic turns back on again, Max and Kiki are still arguing, though a bit more loudly.)

("- get over your ommetaphobia eventually!")

(Max just sighs.)

At least let me record something real quick, okay?

("Go for it, scaredy-Max!")

(Max sighs again.) We've been here for a couple of hours. The "dragontaur," as Kiki called him, hasn't woken up yet, though for the past ten minutes he's been moving around a lot, so hopefully he'll wake up soon. His injuries seem to have partially healed already, at least the ones on his more draconic parts. He's still got a lot of bruises and cuts -

("Hey, I know a way to wake him up! I can't believe I didn't think of it before!")

What?

(Kiki suddenly yells, "COME ON SLEEPING BEAUTY WAKEY WAKEY!")

(There's a sound somewhere between a bird's screech and a roar, and something large moves quickly, scrabbling away.)

KIKI!

("What? He's awake now. He~ey, look at all those sparks!")

He might've attacked you!

("But he didn't, did he? Hi dragon-boy!")

(A soft keening begins.)

Kiki, back off.

("Nah. Hey, you look like you've seen a ghost")

You _screamed in his ear_.

("Yeah, yeah, yeah - ")

Sorry about her. Told her not to wake you up, but she doesn't listen. Ever.

(The keening softens a bit, changing into a faint whimper. Max gets up and walks a few steps, presumably towards the creature, since he moves away again.) Calm down, I'm just checking to make sure none of your cuts reopened or something.

(The keening finally drifts off into silence, and there's a lot of movement as Max checks bandages. There's also a scratching sound, like cat's claws.)

. . . Doesn't look like there's any new bleeding. Hey, you hungry? (Max's voice has taken on a gentler tone, like she's trying to sooth a scared animal.)

(Presumably the creature nods, because Kiki says something about getting an energy bar and disappears from the recording for a few moments. She returns with something crinkly.)

("Here 'ya go!")

(There's some rustling as the wrapper's undone, and some crunching. The girls stay quiet for a few long moments. Finally, Max speaks up, still in that gentle tone.)

You okay now?

(Silence, but the creature most likely nods, judging by Max's response.) Good. Sorry 'bout Kiki here, she has almost no common sense whatsoever.

("Hey, I've got plenty of common sense!")

I have yet to see you use it.

("Yeah, well, but at least I'm not scared of little winged eyeballs!")

(Max ignores this jibe.) Can you talk? Some people I meet can't really . . . communicate well with us humans.

(There's a faint rasping sound, then a faint growl, and finally, a very very soft voice, hoarse from lack of use, says, "Y-yes.")

What's your name?

(The voice hesitates. Then, he says, even more softly, "Rai.")

Well Rai, I'm Max, the she-devil with foghorn vocal cords is Kiki.

("HEY!")

(More giant shifting movement.) Whoa, hey, where are you going? You're still pretty badly hurt.

("I-I'm fine - ")

(He lets out a high keening sound again, though not as loud.)

Hey, hey, carefull! You're still kind of weak!

(The keening softens to a faint whine.)

Come on. We're not gonna hurt you. You want to go home, we'll help you out. Even Kiki isn't enough of a jerk to leave you hanging.

("Hey, I'm not a jerk, period!")

Sure. You keep telling yourself that.

("I-I d-don't n-need any h-help.")

I think we both know that's not true, don't we?

("Yeah, no way your sparkly butt's gonna get there on your own.")

("S-sparkly?)

("Yep! You're, like, a blue glowing glitter-making machine!")

("I-It's n-not glitter.")

("Could've fooled me!")

(The dragontaur makes another faint keening sound.)

Hey, hey, seriously, let us help you out. We'll get you home. Just lead the way.

(Someone picks up the recorder and flicks off the mic.)

June 18th

(Kiki is nowhere to be heard when Max turns on the recorder again. It's quiet, there's hardly any background noise at all, save for some breathing close by.)

Ugh, this thing's almost out of batteries. I'll have to make this quick.

(Someone grumbles, and Max quietly walks a little ways before continuing.)

Wow, she actually fell asleep. I thought caffeine was supposed to keep you awake, not . . . well, I guess that's another one of her odd talents. (She sighs.)

We ended up helping Rai - the dragontaur, Kiki was right about what they called themselves - back to his home, a small cave underneath a waterfall - the same waterfall the gnomes and fairies kept discovering footprints near. The opening was barely large enough for us to squeeze through, and somehow Rai just pushed himself through with hardly any problems - though he did temporarily dislocate his limbs, judging by the unnatural way they moved. It's almost like he's a snake, except the dislocation isn't in his jaw. Though he might be able to do that.

The poor guy seemed pretty nervous about letting us in, but once we convinced him, the cave opened up a lot. Not a big cavern by any leap of the imagination, barely bigger than my bedroom at home, but it's pretty cosy. There was a little nook carved into the wall, padded with old clothes and sleeping bags, which seemed to be Rai's bed, and some nets woven out of old cables, jars of food - boxes full of 'em. He said he found them in the bunker that connects to that weird cave we found him in. We'll have to go check it out later.

We didn't talk for a while, though eventually Kiki took the initiative and started pestering the guy about what happened to him. He wouldn't say anything, just that there was something in his territory. Didn't want to open up too quickly to a couple of humans, I guess. We did leave him some new food though - Brown Meat's okay if you want to survive, but it gets boring without some extra stuff added in. Nothing too substantial, just some sugar packets from Kiki's pack - which explains how she stayed up so late - and some nut-n-fruit energy bars. He more or less pleaded us to leave after that, and we left pretty quickly - I managed to get a photo of him before we did. I'm going to show Gideon when we get back tomorrow, and maybe record what I found in that journal he started recently. Heck, maybe I should start my own -

(Leathery flapping sounds.)

Ugh, what do you things want? Kiki's in the tent - hey, stop eating my shirt!

(She moves around a lot for a few seconds, then sighs.)

Okay, fine. Stay. Just don't get any eyeball juice on me - hey, I said _don't_! Little devils.

(There's a long pause.)

Oh, that's something else that was a little unusual. Rai seemed pretty nervous around the eyebats. He wasn't grossed out by them or anything, but whenever they got too close he'd shy away. Not just him, either, the gnomes we went to visit shortly afterwards kept shooing them away, and said something about them being _dangerous_. I don't know about that. They don't seem too deadly, just, you know, annoying. I'll be asking Gideon about that too, I guess.

(Another long pause.)

Well, I better get some sleep. Knowing Kiki, she'll wake me up the instant it gets light. Come on, little devils, let's get you to your monstrously crazy mom, 'kay?

(There's some sort of squeak in response as the recording clicks off.)


End file.
